The Teaching Summary, Contents: The Channel Introduction, Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Summary, Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Appendix, Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Conclusion
My Initiation came at the end of a period of personal preparation, during which I was trained and exercised in the use of words. It preceded the Teaching, but the occasion on which it took place remained a blank in my memory until quite recently when it was recalled. I then underwent a repetition of the experience, understanding that it was not the reality, and that it was given in order that I might regain conscious memory of it. To reproduce the experience in words seems to me to attempt the impossible. How can any words convey the possibility of Eternal Darkness?
For the actual Initiation my Conscious Mind was alone in the Thought World, deliberately seeking the Darkness, with just this one sentence of instruction and help from Sanchuniathon:
"Go as far into the Darkness as you are able and remember:
'There is no Darkness into which the Light cannot come.' "
At first the Darkness took for me personality in the form of Marazahn, an individual with whom I had been connected in the life of my Second Important Chapter. Now, when I heard her laughter and stopped it, enlightenment came, I knew then that the Force of Evil has no personality.
Here, below are my thoughts as I spoke them. I have tried to indicate the natural pauses by dots; the dashes show where thought answered mine.
The Nearly Darkness
Surely this is utter desolation; but I can still see and hear.... and feel, because there are stones beneath my feet. There seem to be a lot of thorns about. I think.... it must have been from here they made Azrael's crown.... it is grey, unutterably heavy.... there is nothing to see, only just greyness.... but, oh! It is NOT still. I wish there was no sound, but there is, a faint ceaseless whispering of sand, shifting, shifting, just above my feet; and worst of all that never stopping wind. Is it wind ?.... Oh! Why can sound rise so much higher and sink so much lower than anything else?
It is dry, so very dry and arid. Surely this is the land the other-side of the grey water, (suicide) that Marazahn tried to make me pass. There is no colour here, it is grey without light or shade.... shadowed.... silent...... but not still. There is no form.... voidless.... and it drains one of joy and hope.
I think.......... I had better go back before I too, become nothing. But......it.........is.........not........the........end........and Sanchuniathon said:
"Go as far as you can."
But.......Mother of God where does this end?
This is the Darkness.... I cannot see now, but I can feel: it is oppressive, malignant.. and closing in. Here I cannot even hear that wind, but was it wind? Oh, God! It wasn't wind at all, but corrupting thought coming---- it's all about me! ------ Stop laughing, Marazahn. Stop... You did that once before and yet I lived after it. ----- But I came here of my own free-will. I can't get back. I... cannot... go... back... That is true and I accept it. Still I am myself, and Sanchuniathon sent me. ----- He cannot fetch me back? Oh Sanchuniathon! why did you send me here?... That brought you a lot closer didn't it? I cannot go back, and Sanchuniathon cannot fetch me. That is true and I accept that also; but still I am I, and you cannot possess me yet----- There is no yet, no now... but ... though ... you ... hold ... me ... here for all eternity, and though Sanchuniathon has failed.
" I am."
He said ... Sanchuniathon said ... I cannot remember ... he said:
"There .... is .... no .... Darkness, into which the Light cannot come."
" Azrael ! " "Azrael ! " "Azrael ! "
It is true I could not escape the Darkness myself, nor could Sanchuniathon fetch me, but I could remember to call on Azrael in my need.
That foreshadowed my Unique Experience on earth, and that of all other Conscious Minds, the necessary realisation that without Azrael you are lost.
Appendix, Part ...